Fought with mom coz of stupid stuft and dad was very angry with me and mom so he threw the big glass on the floor , and the next moment he pick up the broken glasses and throw again , his hand is full with blood ... blood everywhere , pieces of glass everywhere and water everywhere .. I dunno what to do , I am very scare , my heart is very painful when I see the blood everywhere ... Not to blame my mom but she started the fight first , I should have be patience to her and let her win ... After this incident , my mom continue wana argue with me , I really dunno y fucking wana continue argue after dad is hurt ... hurt badly somemore ... what you expect me to do now ? I sat down shivering alone dunno what to do , my mind is blank !! So worry for my dad ... Please dun hurt yourself anymore even is my wrong or mom's wrong ... not worth ... is our fault our bad ... is just I cannot bare to see you hurt ...
Thank god I quickly text Goh and Samantha ... really appreciate that both of you are with me when I'm helpless , I really feel better now , atleast slightly after we yam cha ~ I am so tired with my life ... studies , family , health , hostel .... I duno I still can stand how long ... Dad scolded me coz I'm going out , but how I wish that I could tell you that I went out coz I feel so scare for the whole thing , I wana cry but I dare not cry at home ... I go out not because I wana play but I really feel like taking a breath .. I love you ~
It feels so hard to go through everything alone , new environment , new course , new society ... I really feel helpless , only can tell Samantha and blog ... feel like suiciding , tired of smiling infront of everyone ... home suppose to be a warm place , but I feel the more I come back the more dad suffer ...
Sometime I wish you were here , but I dun hope that we couple back , Im just use to your comfort ... I feel that I miss you more when I met difficulties .. I hate myself ... awiz sick , cant be independent ... I ... duno wat to say ...
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