Too much to say

My new hubby - Jung Yeong Hwa from CNblue

 Last Saturday went yam cha with mr M and mr F ~ hmm we went Station 1 and only 3 of us kinda awkward ! So we decided to pick songs for the live band to sing and I choosed 你不知道的事 - 王力宏 . Well this is also the first time I notice banana milkshake is so nice and it was raining cats and dogs !

After listening to the song , mr M decided to go to the boucany to smoke and I followed since I really like him but not love okay ! So he was smoking by himself and I stood beside him and both of us watch the rain drizzling with wind blowing on our faces <3 Although is total silence but still is meaningful hmm ...

Then after yam cha we went to 7/11 to buy ice cream ! then we eat beside the road while its raining like hell !

He place his hand around my shoulder and of course I laid my head on his shoulder <3 hmm we did hold hands and I really appreciate it vr much ! Then the security guard said we are doing impolite things where we never even do anything but lucky both of us not shy and continue with our topic ! Hmm he really give me the 安全感. And for continuos 2 days mr BP rang me up, was kinda happy too since when he need people to talk he will catch my time and ring me up ... But mostly topic on how to go after Jlo ~

This Tuesday 13.9.2011 , I stalk again and end up Im hurt again ... He is planning his everything in this 2 years with his gf ... But when he is with me last time he don't even put an effort to plan his future . After reading his FB , seriously I feel like suicide ! heart pain til max and wanted to die so badly ! I know I won't suicide but suffer max. Told myself Im gonna start my new life during this September but I failed . This is the 1st time in Sept I burst in to tears once more ... mr M is just my god brother basically so is totally not love, is a like or more to a crush !  Sigh every moment I still think of him , not love but I just can't let go of this pass relationship ! Haiz, please let me forget everything !

Nothing Better - Brown Eyed Soul